September 27, 2023

Sometimes, we like to surround ourselves with things. People.

It offers an illusory comfort.

It is our safe haven from the questions that plague us about ourselves.

It is our refuge from our concerns regarding the human condition.

But that condition is a result of our unanswered questions.

We are in a constant state of distracting ourselves from loss…

From pain…

From insincerity…

From doubt…

But isn’t it bizarre?

Our condition has become the very definition of distraction itself.

Grief is a manifestation of it.

Everybody is forced to accept that all things and all life end, but we never seem to heed it. We always assume everything will be as it was when we wake in the morning.

We mourn every second we lost with our loved ones because we drowned ourselves too deeply in them to truly see their nature, too afraid to learn of our own in the process.

That is grief.

It is also true that there are some things and people that time does not deserve and cannot contain. No matter how much or little we were distracted while in their company, we never would have been able to get enough.

That is something beyond grief. That is hell. It changes the core of who we are, and becomes the very thing we are running from. A bittersweet, never-ending cycle. But, for our sanity, we have to cope somehow. So we surround ourselves with more to ease the pain of less.

That is security.